Too young to be lonely? The hidden loneliness of your twenties and thirties
Loneliness & connection · Équipe Viatous · 4 min
When we think of loneliness, we picture an older person at a window, an afternoon that never ends. Rarely someone who’s 29, with a steady job, a flat in the city and 600 contacts in their phone. Someone who goes out, works hard, answers their messages, and who, once evening comes, isn’t quite sure who they could really talk to.
And yet that’s where the numbers get surprising.
The numbers that break the stereotype
According to the Fondation de France loneliness study published in January 2025, loneliness in France peaks sharply between ages 25 and 39 : 35% of people in that age group say they often feel lonely, compared with 16% of 60 to 69-year-olds. More than double ( Fondation de France, 2025 ).
Nor is it just a French thing. In its 2025 report, the WHO says that between 17% and 21% of 13 to 29-year-olds worldwide report feeling lonely, with the highest rates among teenagers, and points out that “even in a digitally connected world”, many young people feel alone ( WHO, 2025 ).
Why this age?
Between 25 and 35, life speeds up, and friendships struggle to keep pace:
The built-in structure disappears. At school or university, you saw the same people every day without organising anything. After that, every meetup takes effort.
Moving around. A first job, a transfer, a new city: your friends end up scattered across the map.
Rhythms drift apart. Some people settle down, some have kids, some work odd hours. Finding an evening that suits everyone becomes a puzzle.
Work takes over. Colleagues sometimes stand in for friends, without quite playing the same role.
The pressure of a “full life”. At this age, you’re supposed to go out, travel, be surrounded by people. That makes admitting you feel lonely even harder.
The dead ends (we all try them)
Waiting for it to happen. After education, friendship no longer falls into your lap. You have to nudge it a little.
Scrolling to feel close. Seeing other people’s lives in photos gives the illusion of connection, and sometimes the feeling that you’re the only one staying in on a Saturday night.
Putting everything on one person. A partner or a best friend can’t meet every need for connection on their own.
What actually works
Rebuild a built-in structure
What worked at school was regularity. Recreate it: a sports club, a choir, a weekly games night, a course that runs all year. Seeing the same faces every week does the work for you.
Become the one who organises
In a group of busy friends, there’s often a missing piece: nobody plans anything. Take that role. A simple “Picnic on Saturday, who’s in?” revives more connections than you’d expect.
Accept shorter formats
An hour’s walk, a call on your commute, a weekday lunch. Connection doesn’t need a whole evening to exist.
Widen the circle
Old friends aren’t as available as they used to be? That’s not a tragedy. It’s the moment to meet people who want the same things you want, right now.
When loneliness weighs on you
If loneliness comes with sadness that lingers, trouble sleeping or losing interest in things, talk to someone. It’s not a thirty-something whim. It’s your health.
If loneliness turns into distress , you don’t have to wait for it to pass on its own. In France, 3114 (free, 24/7) supports people in psychological distress or with suicidal thoughts, and those close to them. In an emergency in France, call 112 , or text 114 if you can’t speak. If you live elsewhere, contact your country’s emergency services. A family doctor can also point you to the right help, and in France the Mon soutien psy scheme covers sessions with a psychologist.
People who are free, at the right time
At this age, the real problem is often logistics: finding people who are up for the same thing at the same time. That’s exactly what Viatous does. You write what you feel like doing, in one sentence, and Viatous looks for compatible people to form a Room of 2 to 4 people, online or in person.
For example: “Looking for two or three people to go for a run on Thursday after work, around Saint-Michel in Bordeaux.”
Roomi, the Viatous robot, welcomes the group, walks everyone through the steps and hosts the activity. And if it clicks, the Room can become a Circle that meets again, but only if everyone wants to. It’s a bit like the built-in structure of school, grown-up version.
So when did you last see the same faces two weeks in a row, without having to organise everything yourself? See how it works .