Rebuilding after a hard time: forget the big moment, trust the small steps
Getting through hard times · Équipe Viatous · 4 min
After a hard time, we often wait for a turning point. The morning we'll wake up "fixed". That morning almost never arrives all at once. What does arrive are small moments: a first proper laugh, an outing you wouldn't have managed three months ago, a full night's sleep at last. Put together, those small steps end up tracing a path.
Forget the big plan, pick one small step
So where do you start? Not at the top. When everything feels heavy, big goals crush you. "Get my life back on track" is too vast. "Call a friend on Thursday" is doable.
One step a week , no more.
A concrete step : an action, not a resolution.
A step that feels like you : what matters to you, not what others expect.
And once you've done it, write it down. Reading back over everything you've done a month later often feels good.
Look after the basics
It isn't glamorous, but it's solid. Sleep, meals, a bit of movement, a bit of daylight. When those basics hold, everything else gets a little lighter. Don't aim for perfect: a little better is enough.
And be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend going through the same thing. You wouldn't tell them "you should be better by now". You'd tell them "you're doing what you can, and that's already a lot". You're allowed to say that to yourself too.
Reconnect, gently
After a difficult period, we've often drifted away from people, sometimes without even noticing. Yet connection is one of the pillars of health. The WHO Commission on Social Connection (2025) notes that around one in six people worldwide feel lonely, and that strong social connection is linked to better health and a lower risk of early death.
Get back in touch with one person , without explaining your silence. "I was thinking of you" is enough.
Say yes to invitations , even for an hour.
Meet new people through an activity: it's easier when you have something to do together.
Feel useful again
There's also a step people often forget: helping others in turn, a powerful way to rebuild. The Fondation de France's Solitudes 2025 study found that when support for an isolated person leads to volunteering, loneliness drops sharply: going from being helped to helping boosts self-esteem. An hour a week with a charity, a hand for a neighbour, listening to someone going through what you went through: it all counts.
Accept the bad days
Rebuilding isn't a straight line. There will be setbacks, days when it feels like you're back at square one. You're not: you've learned things, and you have support you didn't have before. And if the bad days pile up, talk to your GP or a psychologist. In France, the Mon soutien psy scheme covers up to 12 sessions a year.
Viatous: small steps, together
On Viatous, you write what you want to do, and Viatous creates a Room: a small group of 2 to 4 compatible people, online or in person. For a concrete small step, it could be: "Get back into drawing with two or three people, once a week." Or, if you want to talk: "Talk with people rebuilding their lives after a hard time." In that case, the support Room is for adults 18 and over, with a reinforced frame.
Roomi, the Viatous robot, welcomes the group and leads the session. You show up with your first name, the camera is optional, and you can leave whenever you want. After the activity, if everyone wants to, the Room can become a Circle: a small group that keeps meeting, to move forward together, one step at a time.
Viatous doesn't replace a professional: it's a place so you don't have to walk the road alone. So what would your small step be this week? To explore what you can do, head to Discover .
If the road gets too hard
Immediate danger in France: call 17 (police) or 112 . If you can't speak, text 114 . Outside France, contact the emergency services in your country.
Suicidal thoughts or deep distress, for you or someone close to you: 3114 in France, free, 24/7 ( 3114.fr ).
For ongoing support: your GP, a psychologist, or France's Mon soutien psy scheme (up to 12 sessions a year with a partner psychologist, reimbursed by the national health insurance).