Grief, loneliness, quitting: talking with peers, in a frame that protects you
Viatous, Rooms & Roomi · Équipe Viatous · 4 min
Some things are hard to say to the people closest to you. Not because they don’t matter, but because you’re afraid of worrying them, wearing them out, or not being understood. Sometimes what helps is talking with people going through something similar. Without having to explain everything. Without being judged. That’s the idea behind Viatous peer support Rooms.
Who they’re for, and which topics
Peer support Rooms are small groups of adults, aged 18 and over , going through the same thing. They take place in French or English. On the Discover page, they’re grouped like this:
getting through a difficult time : loneliness, a break-up, grief, stress;
quitting smoking or drinking : setting a small step, telling the group, meeting up to stick with it;
taking back control of a habit : screens, gambling or more personal topics;
working towards a body-related goal : getting back into exercise, looking after yourself, with regular meet-ups.
You don’t need to find the right words. Whether you write “grief” or “I just lost my dad”, your request is directed to the right Room, with its framework.
How a peer support Room works
In practice, the principle is the same as for every Room: a small group of 2 to 4 people, and Roomi to set the frame. But here, that frame is stronger:
The rules are read out at the start. Safety texts are read word for word, never rephrased.
Everyone speaks in turn. The screen shows who has the floor, and nobody is cut off mid-sentence.
One small step at a time : everyone can set themselves a voluntary action, at their own pace.
You only share what you want. Nobody has to tell their story.
The tone is gentle and calm. No teasing here, and no prompting to fill a silence: silences are allowed.
Nothing starts without you : the activity waits until every person present is ready.
You appear with your first name, and your photo only if you’ve added one. The camera is optional, you can mute your microphone and leave the Room at any time. If the group needs it, the Room can be extended: it’s the speaking time that gets longer.
Discretion, built in from the start
Talking about something sensitive takes trust, and trust needs protecting. A few rules protect it:
the title the group sees is the generic name of the topic, never the sentence you wrote;
notifications never name a peer support Room: its topic doesn’t appear on a lock screen or in an inbox;
if the group forms a Circle, Roomi only keeps the small steps shared with the group, and never names a person or their step in front of the others;
in person, Roomi doesn’t suggest bars for these Rooms.
The limits, stated clearly
Peer support Rooms are a space for talking with peers . They come in addition to professional help, never instead of it. Viatous is not therapy and not an emergency service. Roomi is not a health professional. Advice shared between members is not a diagnosis or a treatment, and doesn’t promise recovery.
If something written on Viatous suggests a person is in danger or distress, Viatous points them straight to emergency help: “You don’t have to go through this alone.” But what matters most is knowing who to turn to:
If you need help now, in France:
Emergency: 17 (police) or 112 . If you can’t speak: text 114 .
Suicidal thoughts or severe distress: 3114 , free, 24/7 ( 3114.fr ).
Violence against women: 3919 , free and anonymous, 24/7, and arretonslesviolences.gouv.fr .
Grief, mental health: your GP, a psychologist, or the “Mon soutien psy” scheme, which covers reimbursed sessions.
Outside France , contact your country’s emergency services.
Talking with others can help you find a little momentum again, and sometimes the courage to reach out to those people. That already counts for a lot.
If you’d like to try
You can start with a very simple sentence, at your own pace:
“I’d like to talk about my grief with people going through the same thing.”
“I want to quit smoking and meet others to help me stick with it.”
“I’ve been feeling lonely lately and I’d like to talk about it.”
Viatous looks for adults going through something similar, you choose whether to join the group, and Roomi sets the frame. You’re free to leave at any time. And if, for now, you’d mostly rather listen, that’s already a way of being there.
Peer support Rooms are presented on the Discover page , and their framework on the Safety page .