Social media: escaping the comparison trap without deleting everything
Well-being & mental health · Équipe Viatous · 4 min
Sunday evening, sofa. You scroll: an old classmate has started a company, a friend is running a marathon, a stranger poses in front of a perfect sunset. You put your phone down with an odd feeling. Your own life suddenly seems a bit dull.
Yet nothing changed in your day. What changed was what you were comparing it to.
Why we compare ourselves so much
Comparing is human. We've always done it. The difference is the scale. We used to compare ourselves to a few neighbours. Now we compare ourselves to hundreds of people, and only to their best moments: the best trip, the best photo, the best news. Nobody posts their laundry pile or their awful Monday.
So we pit our everyday life, ups and downs included, against the highlight reel of everyone else's. It's a game you lose before it starts.
What the research shows
Among young people, it's a real concern. According to the World Health Organization's European office, problematic social media use among adolescents in the region rose from 7% in 2018 to 11% in 2022 . The WHO describes it as addiction-like use: struggling to control your time, feeling bad when you can't log on, neglecting other activities.
And cutting back can make a difference. In 2018, University of Pennsylvania researchers asked 143 students to limit Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat to 10 minutes per app per day for three weeks. Compared with the group that kept its usual habits, they saw significant drops in loneliness and depression . It's a small study of students, but it points in a clear direction.
Taking back control, in practice
No need to delete everything or move to a cabin. A few settings are often enough to change the mood.
Clean up your feed. Unfollow (or mute) accounts that leave a bitter taste. Keep the ones that teach you something or make you laugh.
Turn off notifications. You decide when to open the app, not the other way round.
Set time slots. Say, 20 minutes after lunch, and not in bed. Most phones let you set a limit per app.
Keep your phone out of the bedroom. The first and last scroll of the day are often the heaviest.
Check in with yourself. Before opening the app, ask: am I bored, sad, avoiding something? Scrolling rarely gives you what you actually need.
Swap the screen for the real thing
Cutting back on social media frees up time. If that time stays empty, the app creeps back fast. The idea is to fill it with something that really feeds you: an activity, a conversation, a shared moment.
Melissa Hunt, who led the Pennsylvania study, put it simply: put your phone down and be with the people in your life . And if those people are far away or busy, nothing stops you from meeting new ones around a shared interest.
If comparison turns into an obsession, and you feel bad about yourself to the point where it weighs on your daily life, that's not a weakness. Talk to your doctor or a psychologist.
Doing something with someone, instead of watching
Viatous isn't a social network. The point isn't to watch other people's lives, but to do something with them. You write what you feel like doing in one sentence, and Viatous forms a Room : a small group of 2 to 4 compatible people, online or in person.
For example:
"I want to spend less time on my phone in the evening. Looking for 2 or 3 people for an online drawing session once a week."
Roomi , the Viatous robot, welcomes the group, walks everyone through the steps, reminds them of the rules and runs the activity. You show up with your first name, the camera is optional and you can leave the Room at any time. And if you enjoy it, the Room can become a Circle that meets again, only if everyone wants it.
Nobody needs to post that moment. That's exactly what makes it worth having.
Viatous is open from age 16, and one completed Room a week is free, no credit card needed. See how it works .
If things aren't okay. Viatous doesn't replace a doctor or a psychologist, and Roomi isn't a health professional. In France, your GP is a good first step, and the "Mon soutien psy" scheme covers sessions with a partner psychologist through national health insurance ( ameli.fr ). If you're having suicidal thoughts or are in deep distress, call 3114 in France (free, 24/7, 3114.fr ), for yourself or someone close to you. In an emergency in France, call 15 or 112 , or text 114 if you can't speak. Outside France, contact your country's emergency services.