First year away from home: when the evening silence gets too loud
Student life · Équipe Viatous · 4 min
On the first night, the boxes are still taped shut. Your parents have just left: car door slammed, taillights gone around the corner. You eat pasta sitting on your bed, phone in hand, and the silence in your room suddenly feels deafening. Welcome to student life, the version nobody posts on Instagram.
If that sounds familiar, know this: you're not the exception. According to the Solitudes 2024 study by the Fondation de France and CRÉDOC , 27% of under-25s in France say they feel lonely every day or almost, or often. That's more than one young person in four. In your lecture hall, among all those faces that look so relaxed, you're far from the only one.
It's normal, and it says nothing bad about you
First year piles on the upheaval: a new city, a new rhythm, high school friends scattered elsewhere, family hours away by train. Everyone arrives with the same uncertainty. It's just that almost everyone pretends to be fine.
Loneliness isn't a personal failure. It's a signal, a bit like hunger: it tells you something important is missing, which is connection with other people. And like hunger, you deal with it through concrete steps, not guilt.
The first weeks matter (but it's never too late)
At the start of the year, a window opens. Groups haven't formed yet, and everyone else is looking for familiar faces too. It's the time to say yes more often than you normally would:
Go to welcome events , even if you don't feel like it. You're allowed to leave after an hour.
Sit in the same spot in class. The same neighbors quickly become familiar faces, then people you talk to.
Check out student clubs. Sports, drama, music, volunteering: a regular activity builds bonds much faster than a party.
And if you're reading this in the dead of winter, nothing is lost. Plenty of people still feel a bit on the outside in November. They're just waiting for someone to make the first move, and that someone could be you.
Small moves that build real connection
Friendships rarely come from one big conversation. They grow out of small, repeated moments. A few easy ways to plant them:
Suggest something specific. "Want to do the assignment together at the library on Thursday?" works much better than "We should hang out sometime."
Bet on repetition. Seeing the same people every week, in the same place, is what turns classmates into friends.
Cook for two. Inviting a neighbor over for a bowl of pasta is simple, cheap and surprisingly effective.
Ask a real question. "Where are you from? Why did you pick this course?" People like it when you're curious about them.
Give it time. Your best college friendship may not have started yet. That's fine.
Stay close to home, without hiding there
Calling your family or old friends feels good, and nobody's asking you to stop. But if every evening is a video call with them and every weekend is a train ride back, there's little room left for your new life. Keep at least one evening and part of the weekend for your new city. That's often where everything starts.
When loneliness gets too heavy
Feeling lonely now and then is part of life. But if it lasts, if you're sleeping badly, if nothing interests you anymore or if you have dark thoughts, talk to someone. It isn't weakness. It's looking after yourself.
Free support in France:
3114 : the national suicide prevention line, free, 24/7, if you have suicidal thoughts or are worried about someone.
Nightline : a free, anonymous listening service run by student volunteers, every evening from 9 pm to 2:30 am, with an English line at 0 809 104 105 and a chat.
Santé Psy Étudiant : free sessions with a psychologist for all higher-education students.
Your school's student health service or your doctor .
In an emergency: 112 , or text 114 if you can't speak. Outside France, contact your local emergency services.
Viatous makes the first step easier
When you arrive somewhere new, the hardest part is often knowing who to do things with. On Viatous , you simply write what you'd like to do, for example: "I just moved to Lyon for my studies, looking for 2 or 3 people to explore the city on Saturday afternoon."
Viatous understands what you're after and creates a Room : a small group of 2 to 4 compatible people, online or in person. Roomi, the Viatous robot, welcomes the group, walks everyone through the steps and reminds you of the rules, so nobody has to break the ice alone. You show up with your first name, the camera is optional, and you can leave the Room at any time. Meeting in person? Have a look at our safety tips .
If you click, the Room can become a Circle , a group that meets again, only if everyone wants to. Viatous isn't a social network or a dating app, and it doesn't replace a professional. It's just a simple way to stop doing things alone.
Picture that Saturday: three strangers by the river, a city map none of you can really read, and a fit of laughter at the first wrong turn. That evening, when you get home, the silence in your room doesn't sound quite the same. See how it works .