Meditating with others, even (especially) if you're a sceptic
Well-being & mental health · Équipe Viatous · 4 min
You've tried it before. You sat down, closed your eyes, and a soft voice asked you to "focus on your breath". Forty seconds later, you were thinking about your shopping, that pending email and tonight's series. Verdict: "Meditation isn't for me."
What if the problem wasn't you, but the way it was sold to you?
Meditating isn't "emptying your mind"
First misunderstanding: meditation isn't about thinking of nothing. Nobody manages that, even after years. It's more about noticing that your mind has wandered off, then gently bringing it back to what you chose: your breath, the sounds around you, the sensations in your body.
Every time you notice you've drifted and come back, that's not a failure. That's exactly the exercise. A bit like a rep at the gym, but for your attention.
Second misunderstanding: you don't need incense, the lotus position or any particular belief. A chair, a few minutes, and that's it.
What the science (really) says
Meditation has sometimes been sold as a miracle cure. The reality is more nuanced, and fairly reassuring. In 2014, a team at Johns Hopkins University reviewed 47 clinical trials involving 3,515 participants. Published in JAMA Internal Medicine , the review found moderate evidence that mindfulness meditation programmes improved anxiety, depression and pain, and weaker evidence for stress. The authors describe "small to moderate reductions" in several dimensions of psychological stress.
In other words: it's not magic, but it's not nothing. Meditation can be one tool among others to help you feel a bit better. It doesn't replace treatment or care when you need it.
Why it's easier with others
Meditating alone in your bedroom is the best way to give up after three days. With others, a few things change:
The appointment. When people are expecting you, you show up. Even on evenings you don't feel like it.
Shared calm. Being quiet together has something soothing about it. You can feel you're not the only one trying.
The chat afterwards. Hearing someone say "I thought about my shopping the whole time too" takes away any pressure to perform.
The guide. Having someone set the pace stops you wondering every two minutes whether you're "doing it right".
Three formats for beginners, sceptics included
Five minutes of breathing. Sit down, follow your breath, count to ten and start again. Five minutes, no more. Then everyone says in one word how they feel.
The body scan. Move your attention, in turn, to your feet, legs, back, shoulders. Ideal at the end of the day, when your head is too full.
Mindful walking. Walk slowly, in silence, noticing your steps, the sounds, the air. Perfect for people who can't sit still.
One word of caution: if an exercise brings up difficult thoughts or emotions, you're allowed to stop. Open your eyes, move, breathe normally. And if those emotions come back often or weigh on your daily life, talk to a doctor or a psychologist.
Meditating in a small group, in a Room
Finding a meditation group at the right time, at the right level, without an overly solemn vibe isn't always easy. With Viatous, you write what you want to do in one sentence, and Viatous forms a Room : a small group of 2 to 4 compatible people, online or in person.
You could write:
"I've never meditated and I'm a sceptic. Looking for 2 or 3 beginners to try ten minutes together, in the evening, online."
Roomi , the Viatous robot, welcomes the group, walks everyone through the steps, reminds them of the rules and runs the session. You show up with your first name, the camera is optional (handy for closing your eyes without feeling watched), and you can mute your mic or leave the Room at any time.
If you enjoy it, the Room can become a Circle , your own little meditation group that meets again, only if everyone wants it. One completed Room a week is free, no credit card needed. See how it works and give yourself ten calm minutes, together.
If things aren't okay. Viatous doesn't replace a doctor or a psychologist, and Roomi isn't a health professional. In France, your GP is a good first step, and the "Mon soutien psy" scheme covers sessions with a partner psychologist through national health insurance ( ameli.fr ). If you're having suicidal thoughts or are in deep distress, call 3114 in France (free, 24/7, 3114.fr ), for yourself or someone close to you. In an emergency in France, call 15 or 112 , or text 114 if you can't speak. Outside France, contact your country's emergency services.