Breaking a bad habit: why you hold out far longer with company
Well-being & mental health · Équipe Viatous · 4 min
Monday, you've decided: no more phone in bed. Monday night, you stick to it. Tuesday too. Wednesday, you're tired, you "just check one thing". By Thursday, you can't even remember the resolution. If that sounds familiar, relax: it's not a lack of willpower. It's how habits work.
Why habits are so stubborn
A habit is an action that's become automatic. Your brain has linked it to a context (the sofa, the coffee break, 10 p.m. boredom) and triggers it almost without you. Handy for brushing your teeth. Much less so when you're trying to stop snacking in front of a series.
And change takes time. In a University College London study published in 2010, psychologist Phillippa Lally followed volunteers who wanted to adopt a new daily behaviour. It took them 66 days on average for it to become automatic, with huge differences from one person to another. A far cry from the "21 days" you hear everywhere.
Another useful finding from that study: missing a single day barely slowed progress . What matters is getting back on track. A slip isn't a failure.
Don't just stop: replace
Removing a habit leaves a gap. And your brain loves filling that gap with… the old habit. So the trick is to plan something else instead.
Spot the trigger. When, where and with what feeling does the habit show up? Note it down for a few days.
Pick a specific replacement. "In bed, I read ten pages" beats "I'll use my phone less".
Change the setting. Charger in another room, snacks out of sight. The less you have to resist, the longer you last.
Start small. One screen-free evening a week beats a grand vow dropped after three days.
Why it works better with others
Alone, it's very easy to find excuses. Nobody sees, nobody asks. With others, everything changes:
Someone's expecting you. Telling someone "let's check in on Thursday" makes the commitment real.
Setbacks become normal. Hearing someone else say "I slipped on Tuesday too" removes the shame and makes you want to start again.
Tips get shared. What works for one person can unlock it for another.
Progress gets celebrated. A week done is more fun to mark with others than alone with your calendar.
The best-known example in France is the national "Mois sans tabac" (a month without smoking). The public health agency Santé publique France notes that quitting for 30 days makes long-term success five times more likely , and that trying to quit during the campaign doubles the one-year success rate compared with attempts made without outside help. The idea: a shared challenge, at the same time, with support. You can apply the same logic to plenty of everyday habits.
One important note: for an addiction (tobacco, alcohol, gambling, drugs), professional support comes first. Your doctor, a smoking cessation specialist or a specialised centre are there for that. A peer group can help you hold on, but it doesn't replace that care.
Finding your accountability partners with Viatous
You still need people who want to change the same thing, at the same time. Your friends may not feel like quitting sugar right when you do. That's where Viatous comes in.
You write your goal in one sentence, and Viatous forms a Room : a small group of 2 to 4 compatible people, online or in person. Roomi , the Viatous robot, welcomes the group, walks everyone through the steps, reminds them of the rules and runs the conversation. For example, you could write:
"I want to stop scrolling at night. Looking for 2 or 3 people to set a goal and check in every week."
That's where the Circle really matters. At the end of the Room, if everyone wants it, the group can become a Circle that meets again. Exactly what you need to keep going, well beyond three days of motivation.
You show up with your first name, the camera is optional and you can leave the Room at any time. Peer support Rooms about addiction are for people 18 and over, with a stronger framework: rules repeated, moderation and help resources.
Remember the lesson from that study: missing a day ruins nothing, what matters is getting back on track. And that's a lot easier when someone asks you on Thursday: "So, how did this week go?" The free plan includes one completed Room a week and one active Circle, no credit card needed. See how it works and find your partners in change.
If things aren't okay. Viatous doesn't replace a doctor or a psychologist, and Roomi isn't a health professional. In France, your GP is a good first step, and the "Mon soutien psy" scheme covers sessions with a partner psychologist through national health insurance ( ameli.fr ). If you're having suicidal thoughts or are in deep distress, call 3114 in France (free, 24/7, 3114.fr ), for yourself or someone close to you. In an emergency in France, call 15 or 112 , or text 114 if you can't speak. Outside France, contact your country's emergency services.